"Swimming In My Head":

a poetry collection by JenX


Table of Contents


'thirst'


wide-eyed
curious
quietly confused
and
inquisitive
a reddened headache
a blue thirst and hunger
Her silent queries that won't
even think
to another
pending mysteries
she hasn't written the songs behind her hardened shell
And so tired
She wants to refuse to wait
sheltered
she wants to wipe the grime away


price paid

For the first time in her life
She isn't afraid
Of the consequences
As----
Deeply pensive
She wails in
An almost joyous expression

Her price has been paid.


grin

Held
An odd fascination
With the dying, undying, forever mortal
covered
In straps and buckles and peroxide red
There's a fear
That strikes mute
As breath comes quicker
Heart pounds faster
And climax swells in throat
So very hot and foggy
Immediately transformed
Into becoming haptephobic
Impatient,
Death beckons,
Calls,
so very pale and minute
for a life so wasted
so chaste and tainted
cannot be lived for long


Imperial Nature

Inhabited
by a quiet charm
that refuses to smile
by a lingering chill
by unbroken, unwavering frost

And the games we once played
have no effect

The tyrranical alight
in dreams so strange
there is a tundra
which envelops
all we once knew


Survivor

Anyone else would be dead by now
But you, you're a survivor
You don't even see it
So consumed by your pain
But you're a survivor
I know.

You're so much smarter than this
What journeys have you yet to tread
That you might miss
If wrapped up in more than
what's visibly concealing
Actual fears


Mind-Light

tight
sweet and i
'm wearing my
own leather jacket
out of an interesting respect
to you
admiration so tight
i can only feel the buried dreams
that linger when we touch
fizzle, sparkle, bang-bang-bang!
i want to see you
'cause i can't see without my mind-light
but neither can you speak


"bang'

gum
on the roof of my mouth
stuck so blue
'til you, you, you
bang
and there it is
such a shock to us all
black and glue
playing around the chickenwire fence
i dreamed your dream to sit
stale and refreshed
well, the dandelions are in bloom
today smells like your fresh cut lawn
so long
you're a pain in my bones
bang and there it is
bang and there it is
bang, bang,
bang and you're gone
you're gone
my friend
--so changed

my friend


Innocence (Passenger)

Shadows play with light
In a child's hands
Red and brown mingle in the cruelest of dreams
She's got a silent fascination
With the claws that she grips tight
A game of innocence, innocents ...

Innocence laughing
So sheltered and worldly
Innocence dreaming
Of a life once lived
Her face is familiar in the strangest of ways
Yet there's innocence smiling
In her taciturn eyes

Light sparkles on her hands
She tears her naivete apart (so lonely lost)
Red and brown decipher a past so deeply hidden
It can only be found by the girl from outside

She stares blankly into this world that isn't hers
It's as foreign and alien as the passenger she sits beside
Quiet disinterest feigned of her tightly locked universe
But she smirks and grins at the desert outside

Innocence laughing
So sheltered and worldly
Innocence dreaming
Of a life once lived
Her face is familiar in the strangest of ways
Yet there's innocence smiling
In her taciturn eyes


Pages of Your Heart

The imaginary people that aren't there
"Tell Me", tell me, tell me
about the song and the brides so
Lost to the Warrior,
Lost to the Tower,
Can I be yours now?
"Maybe", maybe, maybe
if you existed just as
The charming actor,
The charming doctor
But more exciting
And less natural
How I wish you were here--
Can I help to make you real?
And tear the pages from your heart?
But what would be the price I'd pay?
and without any guarantee, for
Hearts fly where the will....

Veracity sits across from me now
A child so sweet and

coloring her papers
But I wish such truth could lead me to you
And you could be more than a chill
But what are wishes when even dreams
Won't suffice?
You're the piece missing from them
Even when I doubt my own self.
Can you ever be more
than a misplaced imagination run wild
Despite whatever parts of you
are as broken
and as tortured
as you would hate to be seen
Tear the pages from your heart;
I've made my plan
And sadly, sadly, sadly
It's no better than "Syzygy"
That great Power I once held
You held
And it destroyed you
I can rebuild you
Through words and pictures and music
Oh, the beautiful music
We both crave so deeply
& we'll sing together
With or without words
In a beautiful pattern poem
Patternless,
Chaotic,
Just like you---


untitled

I can't just stop being psychic
But you confuse the word with psycho
You misinterpret all that I'm feeling,
Reading,
Place it on the table and
define
My emotions for me


Tennis

The telephone was never kind to you

Your name
In a way
On the board
Listed with
Strangers
As strange as
I am
To you

Someone else's tennis ball
How would you classify that
sound effect

Lisa wants to be a Queen

Racket--
covered in
Bandages--
just like
Everything else we could
learn to
Adore--

we don't play tennis anymore
we suck
But we take
pride in that
A twisted joy-- yes, joy!
in the bright hot sun

he's always got a girlfriend

KiNetiC coNNeXioNS to comm
ander-ford

Racket--
covered in
Bandages--
just like
Everything else we could
learn to
Adore--
i'm in a quiet sort of creepy pain
why'd they always hang out at the

7-11?


Lisa wants to be a Queen

torn to bite your sweetest of dusts

The telephone was never kind to you


Mail the author, JenX, with comments!